Famous Quotes & Sayings

Rebecca West

Getting a divorce is nearly always as cheerful and useful an occupation as breaking valuable china.

Woody Allen

Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!

Woody Allen

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Will Ferrell

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

Richard Pryor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying till I get it right.

Walter Bagehot

Women--one half the human race at least--care fifty times more for a marriage than a ministry.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Marriage is one long conversation, chequered by disputes.

Robert Louis Stevenson

You can forgive people who do not follow you through a philosophical disquisition; but to find your wife laughing when you had tears in your eyes, or staring when you were in a fit of laughter, would go some way towards a dissolution of the marriage.

Sarah Fielding

There is yet another kind of matrimonial dialect (which naturally succeeds this of talking at each other), which may very properlybe styled The Language Contradictory.... In the former, however plain the object of satire may be exhibited to the whole company, yet there always remains some little covering.... But in this last method, the defiance becomes more open and the impetuosity with which these contradictions are uttered (although the subjects of them are often of the most indifferent nature) evidently prove that they arise from passion.

Sarah Fielding

I am none of those nonsensical fools that can whine and make romantic love--I leave that to younger brothers. Let my estate speakfor me.

Sarah Fielding

I believe no gentleman would like to have his family affairs neglected because his wife was filling her head with crotchets and pothooks, and who, because she understood a few scraps of Latin, valued that more than minding her needle or providing her husband's dinner.

Sarah Fielding

I had some short struggle in my mind whether I should resign my lover or my liberty, but this lasted not long. I found myself as free as air and could not bear the thought of putting myself in any man's power for life only from a present capricious inclination.

Sarah Fielding

I often used to think myself in the case of the fox-hunter, who, when he had toiled and sweated all day in the chase as if some unheard-of blessing was to crown his success, finds at last all he has got by his labor is a stinking nauseous animal. But my condition was yet worse than his; for he leaves the loathsome wretch to be torn by his hounds, whilst I was obliged to fondle mine, and meanly pretend him to be the object of my love.

Roseanne Barr

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

Roseanne Barr

Oh, hi. I been married thirteen years, and lemme tell you, it's a thrill to be out of the house. I never get out of the house. I stay home all the time. I never do anything fun 'cause I'm a housewife. I hate the word "housewife." I prefer to be called "domestic goddess.

Roseanne Barr

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

Rod Parsley

It was the courts, of course, that took away prayer from our schools, that took away Bible reading from our schools. It's the courts that gave us same-sex marriage. So it is quite a battlefield, and the Supreme Court is the highest court in the land.

Ronald Reagan

The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out.

Ronald Reagan

There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.

Saint Augustine

Love can be angry... with a kind of anger in which there is no gall, like the dove's and not the ravens.

Will Rogers

I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't.

W. C. Fields

It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.

W. C. Fields

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

I've been married most of my life. And when you're married, you don't have sex.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?

Yvonne Strahovski

Marriage is a very complicated machine. When it breaks down, you can't fix it with one screw.

Voltaire

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.

William Feather

A woman seldom comes out of a sullen spell until she's sure her husband has suffered as much as she thinks he should.

William Butler Yeats

... Let the cage bird and the cage bird mate and the wild bird mate in the wild.

Robert Graves

Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.

Robert Graves

Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale.

Samuel Johnson

It is so far from being natural for a man and woman to live in a state of marriage, that we find all the motives which they have for remaining in that connection, and the restraints which civilised society imposes to prevent separation, are hardly sufficient to keep them together.

Samuel Johnson

I would advise no man to marry who is not likely to propagate understanding.