Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
Doubt is the father of invention.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.