Andrew Dice Clay
Andrew Dice Clay
Andrew Dice Clay is an American comedian and actor. He played the lead role in the 1990 film The Adventures of Ford Fairlane...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 September 1957
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
kids shoes uterus
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!
journey life-journey
I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.
smell dishes cologne
If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.
girlfriend husband mean
I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's okay with it. Plus my kids like both of them.
hate school kids
I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, 'I hate the rich.' From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don't raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.
baby sex life-is-like
Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story.
kissing men thinking
Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?
gay unconstitutional
Whether you're gay, straight, you can't tell anybody who to love and who to marry. It's unconstitutional and it's morally wrong.
kids parent drug
By the time kids are 15, they're drunks and they're drug addicts and they're getting chicks pregnant. The parents wonder, "What did I do wrong?" What you did wrong was, you were never there. You had the kid as a status symbol, that's what went wrong. And you're paying the price for it.
moving doors bored
When I got into comedy, which was really for acting, I would see the guys who would be considered great today. They were great, but after a few minutes I could get kind of bored because they wouldn't move around. The dress code was boring to me. I didn't want to see the guy next door when I'm watching a performer. I wanted to see someone I would pay a ticket for.
wise growing-up thinking
I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with rock 'n' roll. And when I saw a lot of comics, no matter how good they might have been material-wise, I would get a little bored with them after 10 minutes, only because I feel comedians don't really know performance.
sleep night people
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.
home language my-family
I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant,
boys blue littles
Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!