Arthur Smith
Arthur Smith
awards listening radio
Listening to Chris Moyles on Radio 1 is the most miserable thing any human being can do, but attending awards ceremonies isn't far behind.
awards gigs knows
It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it.
men leather-jackets age
It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket.
interesting people perception
It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance.
age may comedy
Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners.
live-life writing elderly
If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s.
caring content display exists issues itself merely political pun small social
The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness.
figures perfect relaxing rhythm rural
Sky and clouds and trees and little figures relaxing in the perfect rural rhythm of their surroundings: these are the staples of a Gainsborough landscape.
associate decades four hills nearly pampered poets
I've been trekking the hills and lanes of the British countryside for nearly four decades now and I've come to associate my passion with overexcited poets rather than pampered painters.
travel
Travel books are, by and large, boring. They lodge uncomfortably between fact, fiction and autobiography.
advice appalled leave lists pretension summer suspicious terrifying time year
It's the time of year when the literati give advice on what we should be reading on our summer holidays. These terrifying lists often leave me appalled at my own ignorance, but also suspicious about the pretension of their advocates.
appalling audience break caught female largely men taking tv watching
A female friend who caught me watching Fashion TV reckons its audience is largely made up of slobbering men who are just taking a break from the appalling Men & Motors channel. I don't agree.
beloved children normally pun tabloid
Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in which I move.
provide
Theatricals can be irritating, but will provide a better night out than mobile phone salespeople.