Bernard Manning
Bernard Manning
Bernard John Manningwas an English comedian and nightclub owner...
NationalityBritish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 August 1930
want sober drink
If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober...
Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.
silly thinking years
I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.
laughing mind driving
I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.
sex men rejected
I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
christmas xmas kids
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
funny witty sleep
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
mother law self
I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.
believe fats
You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe