Bill Hicks
Bill Hicks
William Melvin "Bill" Hickswas an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, and musician. His material, encompassing a wide range of social issues including religion, politics, and philosophy, was controversial, and often steeped in dark comedy. He criticized consumerism, superficiality and banality within the media and popular culture, which he characterized as oppressive tools of the ruling class that keep people "stupid and apathetic"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 December 1961
CityValdosta, GA
CountryUnited States of America
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
I used to drink, I did. I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing in their lights thinking I'd made it to the next club.
That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain on drugs", "Just Say No", "Why do you think they call it dope?" ... And then the next commercial is [singing] "This Bud's for yooouuuu." C'mon, everybody, let's be hypocritical bastards. It's okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth: I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.
Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick--'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to.
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious...
That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.
I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?