Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Joy Handleris an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, and producer. She hosted a late-night talk show called Chelsea Lately on the E! network from 2007 to 2014, and released a documentary series, Chelsea Does, on Netflix in January 2016. In May 2016 she began her new talk show Chelsea on Netflix. In 2012, Time placed her on the list of its 100 Most Influential People...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 February 1975
CityLivingston, NJ
CountryUnited States of America
It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.
I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
I hate when men think that money is gonna buy you happiness... I mean, it helps.
I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint. No one is just one thing. Many things contribute to the whole of a person, and just because vodka accounts for 50 percent of my body weight, that doesn't mean I walk around with a vodka drip, forcing every plant, person, or animal to imbibe. I've always had a disliking for animal trainers, and this guy cemented my theory that people who chaperone animals for a living have never had a girl sit on their face.
I probably do the most for the gay and lesbian community, or LGBT, but I don't have one that I focus on. I just try and kind of do a lot for different charities.
I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.
I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.
A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.
... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her. He was minutes from getting his first period. He wrote poems too. It's my personal belief that if men are writing poems, they're making up for something else like a big hair back, or one ball. Not that one ball is a bad thing. Especially since I don't know any females who are dying to their their hands on a set of balls. The way I see it, the less balls, the better.
I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.
Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there.
But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.