Chuck Klosterman
Chuck Klosterman
Charles John "Chuck" Klostermanis an American author and essayist who has written books and essays focused on American popular culture. He has been a columnist for Esquire and ESPN.com and wrote "The Ethicist" column for The New York Times Magazine. Klosterman is the author of eight books including two novels and the essay collection Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth5 June 1972
CountryUnited States of America
Instead, we were given a publication called the Weekly Reader, which was like a newspaper for four-foot illiterates.
You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person.
If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.
Every possible opinion is authored about everything. What's going to eventually happen is someone will look back on this period and have to sift through it. The overwhelming majority of those opinions are going to be ignored, because if every opinion is being offered, really no opinion is being offered.
Mostly, we argued about who which of us was better at arguing, and particularly about who had won the previous argument.
We argued about how hard it would be to ride a bear, assuming said bear was muzzled.
We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any two people to live.
Every time I learn the truth about something, I’m disappointed
Observing someone without context amplifies the experience. The more we know, the less we are able to feel.
Gay marriage should be legalized in america because gay men are the only men who want to be married.
Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.
If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't think of it when it's relevant. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.
The mass media causes sexual misdirection: It prompts us to need something deeper than what we want. This is why Woody Allen has made nebbish guys cool; he makes people assume there is something profound about having a relationship based on witty conversation and intellectual discourse. There isn't. It's just another gimmick, and it's no different than wanting to be with someone because they're thin or rich or the former lead singer of Whiskeytown.
I keep saying the word 'weird' over and over again, but it's the only way I can describe it.