Colin Quinn
Colin Quinn
Colin Edward Quinn is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. On television, he is best known for his work on Saturday Night Live, where he anchored Weekend Update, on MTV's 1980's game show Remote Control, where he served as the announcer/sidekick, and as host of Comedy Central's late-night panel show Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Notable film work includes his role as Dickey Bailey in the Grown Ups films and playing Amy Schumer's father in the film Trainwreck...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 June 1959
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.
I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.
The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.
The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.
I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.
It’s sad. Marxism didn’t work. Communism didn’t work. Capitalism doesn’t work. Nothing works. Even democracy doesn’t work. Democracy-the greatest form of government and we have two choices for who’s our leader. In fascism you only have one choice. That’s great. We have one more choice than the worst form of government.
You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.
We battled well and it was an excellent win.
If it had just been some femme fatale, I think this whole thing could have been settled. You know, if it had just been like a beautiful woman,
When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.
crooked smile (and say), 'You're going over there, huh?' Be careful.' OK, how do you suggest I do that, sir? Look both ways before I cross the Sunni Triangle?
You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.
A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My standup isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.