Craig Brown
Craig Brown
Craig Edward Moncrieff Brownis an English critic and satirist, best known for his parodies in Private Eye...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionCritic
Date of Birth23 May 1957
board gain high letters player scrabble shut slam upset
Everyone must know by now that the aim of Scrabble is to gain the moral high ground, the loser being the first player to slam the board shut and upset all the letters over the floor.
rule smaller
As a rough rule of thumb, I would say the smaller the pond, the more belligerent the fish.
infinitely irritation lacking subtle
Monopoly may also end in tears, but its tensions are cruder, lacking the infinitely subtle shadings of irritation and acrimony provided by Scrabble.
art life monument possibly putting until
My life is a monument to procrastination, to the art of putting things off until later, or much later, or possibly never.
decent fugitive item number
A decent beard has long been the number one must-have fashion item for any fugitive from justice.
crash crashes lots orderly people time
People think of waves as going in an orderly crash - whoosh - crash - whoosh, but in fact there are lots of different crashes and whooshes, all at different stages, and all going off at the same time.
hard last reveal sole succumbed zombie
It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and outstretched arms, to have succumbed to the lure.
calls clue meant rather send tend wake
Traditionally, wake-up calls are meant to wake you up rather than send you to sleep: the clue is in the wording. But those who talk of wake-up calls tend to have an easy-going way with words.
avoid common might truly
The only behaviour that is truly common is to avoid doing something because you think others might consider it common.
beautiful downtown excited forward host league meetings opportunity sally stadium taking team tour visiting west
We're excited about the opportunity to host the Sally League meetings in Greenville, and look forward to taking the visiting team representatives on a tour of beautiful downtown Greenville and the new West End Stadium site.
deals people valuable
There are some deals to be made right now. Some people don't want to rebuild. And they don't want the headaches. But it's not as valuable as it will be in the future.
astonished cameras clean dropped good living people shoulders television tend whenever
Whenever television cameras are interviewing people in their homes, I tend to look over their shoulders and have a good snoop at their living rooms. I am always astonished at how clean they all look, with nothing out of place or unnecessary or dropped down any old how.
total
I had total confidence. He's made big ones before and he does it every day in practice.
above exist introduce lived reminding streets
What would we do without plaques to tell us who lived where and when? They introduce the past into the present, and are the quickest and most interesting way of reminding us that our streets exist above and beyond the here-and-now.