Craig Brown
Craig Brown
Craig Edward Moncrieff Brownis an English critic and satirist, best known for his parodies in Private Eye...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionCritic
Date of Birth23 May 1957
aged felt oldies school slightly sure though town
When I was a boy, I used to stay with a school friend in Bexhill, in Sussex, which was then well-known for being the town with more oldies than any other. Aged ten, I felt slightly embarrassed by this, though I'm not sure why.
blazer bowls people played school wore
In its heyday, the blazer had come to symbolise a kind of conventional decency. Yacht club commodores and school bursars wore blazers. People who played bowls wore blazers.
expect onions school sticks strings wear
When I was young, I used to expect Parisians to wear little black berets, to bicycle about with strings of onions around their necks, and to brandish long sticks of bread, just like they used to do in school textbooks.
along belong introduce leaves left motion player rule run school stay stops tee thus
Personally, I belong to the speedy school of golf. If it were left up to me, I would introduce a new rule that said every golf ball has to stay in motion from the moment it leaves the tee to the moment it plops into the hole, thus obliging each player to run along after his ball and give it another whack before it stops rolling.
focus gives less lie opportunity red value
It gives them the opportunity now to focus on the Red Sheds, which is where we think most of the value can lie in this business, so it's one less distraction they've got.
full
Just as there is something about an empty skip that makes you want to fill it, so there is something about a full skip that makes you want to empty it.
admitted brightly coloured discreet good grown seems taste
Over the years, the idea seems to have grown up that brightly coloured flowers are vulgar, and that the only flowers to be admitted to the walled garden of good taste are discreet and pastel-hued.
affect forgotten guys indictment players playing quite resilient suspect
Players are resilient guys and tomorrow, quite frankly, I suspect it'll all be forgotten - after all, they're not playing for Sven, they are playing for England. So to say it could affect their performance, that's an indictment of the players.
enemies journalism turning
Journalism could be described as turning one's enemies into money.
legs michael
Michael Owen - he's got the legs of a salmon.
blessed completing definitely focused good opening press project ready weather
We'll definitely be ready by then. It's been a full-court press to get ready. We've been blessed by some very good weather and everybody, from the very beginning, has been singularly focused on completing the project by opening day.
good strewn writers wrote
Some of the most untidy writers have also been the most productive. Iris Murdoch, for instance, wrote a good 30 books in a house strewn with rubbish.
badly hit men playing tend trying
Like many men who play tennis, when I hit a ball into the net, I tend to look daggers at my racket, reproaching it for playing so badly when I myself have been trying so hard.
bowler persist pinch wearing
Like the periwig and the bowler bat, the plus-four and the bow-tie, the blazer is on the way out, and those who persist in wearing it do so with a smattering of self-consciousness, a touch of obstinacy, even a pinch of camp.