Craig Ferguson
Craig Ferguson
Craig Fergusonis a Scottish-American television host, stand-up comedian, writer, actor, director, producer and voice artist. He is the host of the syndicated game show Celebrity Name Game, and the host of Join or Die with Craig Ferguson on History. He was also the host of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, an Emmy Award-nominated, Peabody Award-winning late-night talk show that aired on CBS from 2005 to 2014...
NationalityScottish
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth17 May 1962
CitySpringburn, Scotland
Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.
Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet...
Sarah Palin is speaking out about the oil spill. She said, I'm not kidding, we should ask the Dutch for help with the spill because the Dutch have the world's best dikes. So let me get this straight. It is OK to cover lesbians in oil but you just can't let them get married.
My father had a very unusual psychic ability, he could detect water. It's called divining. He would use a Y-shaped U-branch, and he could find water with that, which is a very impressive skill in a country where it rains 365 days of the year.
I was 15 years old when I was in this band; we were called Stag. We used to wear spandex pants and no underwear - we looked like marbles smugglers.
Here's a tip for all you aspiring young comics: Don't beat up the customers. It is very difficult to get laughs from an audience when you've actually drawn blood from one of their number. It kills the mood.
Sometimes, in order to follow one's heart, one must do the wrong thing. Now, I'm not absolving anyone of their actions; you have to be responsible for your actions, sick or well, you have to be, you just have to be. All of us are accountable.
Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.
Tomorrow is your future's yesterday.
Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.
I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.
Being funny is a gift, and, when done well, is an art form.
Appear tougher or cooler or funnier than you feel and there is a chance you'll make it.
There's something spiritual in hard work. Spirituality isn't all aromatherapy and scented candles.