Craig Ferguson
Craig Ferguson
Craig Fergusonis a Scottish-American television host, stand-up comedian, writer, actor, director, producer and voice artist. He is the host of the syndicated game show Celebrity Name Game, and the host of Join or Die with Craig Ferguson on History. He was also the host of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, an Emmy Award-nominated, Peabody Award-winning late-night talk show that aired on CBS from 2005 to 2014...
NationalityScottish
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth17 May 1962
CitySpringburn, Scotland
People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."
A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old.
You know when you're a kid and you think, 'Oh no, I've got double math, this is never gonna end,' but then it ends, and it's like it never happened? That's like life.
The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.
Gas prices - it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can't tell, of course, because of the Botox.
Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'
Now, I know Obama was trying to take the long view, but talking about solar energy in the middle of the oil spill is like watching your house engulfed in flames and saying, 'We really should change the curtains.'
BP CEO Tony Hayward said recently, 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony, I'm so sorry you had your summer disrupted. I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that too and make me clean it up.
Happy Cinco de Mayo. If you don't know what that means, maybe you're a little out of touch - or maybe you're the governor of Arizona.
I only like sports that Bond villains played.
I have a beard. Just not on my face...
Pies were invented 12,000 years ago by the Egyptians. It was an easy way to preserve food that would be carried over long distances. They were like ancient Slim Jims.
For a while, some schools across the country were banning spelling bees. For obvious reasons, of course - steroids