Dane Cook
Dane Cook
Dane Jeffrey Cookis an American stand-up comedian and film actor. He has released five comedy albums: Harmful If Swallowed; Retaliation; Vicious Circle; Rough Around The Edges: Live From Madison Square Garden; and Isolated Incident. In 2006, Retaliation became the highest charting comedy album in 28 years and went platinum. He performed an HBO special in the Fall of 2006, Vicious Circle, a straight-to-DVD special titled Rough Around The Edges, and a Comedy Central special in 2009 titled Isolated Incident. He...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth18 March 1972
CityCambridge, MA
CountryUnited States of America
Dane Cook quotes about
I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
I was being chased by a giant crab. [Audience laughs] That's not funny.
If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone.
I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.
I say God bless you, I don't say bless you ... I am not the Lord, I can't do that.
I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
Every time you come in from cheating on someone, they'll just whip out the most adorable term of endearment. Like, they'll wake up, bright and early, sleep in their eyes and say: "Hey, perfect."
I'm a late-night guy.
I get so into the moment.
We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.