Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
sailing levels phrases
He's a boating enthusiast, although that phrase seems too weak to describe the level of his interest, kind of like describing someone as a heroin fancier.
beer sailing want
Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if you put up the sails, the boat tips way over, and you could spill your beer.
funny boys years
It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.
sailing boat holes
You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.
writing transition machines
I report as a machine; I write as a person. That clear dichotomy softens the transition.
people sailing toilets
It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large crews.
causes funny-women arguing
I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
wind sea voice
There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"
media priorities focus
Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our highest priority is to get it to you, the public, before our competitors do. If the news media owned airlines, there would be a lot less concern about how many planes crashed, and a lot more concern about whose plane hit the ground first.
drinking advice gum
Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.
sailing earth flight
Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.
dream cat elderly
You've read newspaper stories about elderly widows who die and leave their entire estates to their pet cats, right? Well, your cat reads those stories too, and has spent most of its skulking, devious little life dreaming about inheriting all your money.
golf looks terrible
I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.
travel airports should
When to arrive at the airport?: You should be at the airport already.