Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
catching choice choose difference fly given infant life men save saving woman women
The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.
man says steve
And, I think it says something about Steve as a performer, and as a man, that no one noticed.
pleased stronger top
I'm very pleased that we made the top four. But I feel that we could have had a stronger showing.
club crude dating engage man millions older picked primitive recorded rock round sports time yearning
Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history, dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and whomped the club into the sl
attach best columns figured hope major motion newspaper nobody people pictures seriously shaped tom
I figured out why I'm not getting seriously rich. I write newspaper columns. Nobody ever makes newspaper columns into Major Motion Pictures starring Tom Cruise. The best you can hope for, with a newspaper column, is that people will like it enough to attach it to their refrigerators with magnets shaped like fruit.
according basic both certain dressed fairly fashion guy socks
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks should always be the same color,* Or they should at least both be fairly dark.
across admit drive parking shaped station
Admit it, sport-utility-vehicle owners! It's shaped a little differently, but it's a station wagon! And you do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot!
bet beverly blood hundred last song theme typical
If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from "The Beverly Hillbillies
basic cover given guy human infinitely nearly needed process relationships subtle work
Your basic guy is into a straight-ahead, bottom-line kind of thought process that does not work nearly as well with the infinitely subtle complexities of human relationships as it does with calculating how much gravel is needed to cover a given driveway.
destroying details freely funny internet intimate mind shocking watching
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.
kids miss noise pick size
'You kids are just going to miss out on all the AAIIIEEE.'' This is the noise you make when you pick up a splinter the size of a harpoon.
computer mean word
USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot.'
excellent name rock
'Varlet and the Squeaking Codpieces'' would be an excellent name for a rock band.
basically choking data device duck equipped global network noise
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo