Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
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One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night of drinking, a major participant sport in Japan. These men were totally snockered, having reached the stage of inebriation wherein every air molecule that struck caused them to wobble slightly, but they still managed to behave more formally than Americans do at funerals.
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You should never pick up a newspaper when you're feeling good, because every newspaper has a special department, called the Bummer Desk, which is responsible for digging up depressing front-page stories.
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John Dorschner, one of our staff writers here at Tropic magazine at The Miami Herald, who is a good friend of mine and an excellent journalist, but a raving liberal, wrote a story about a group that periodically pops up saying that they're going to start their own country or start their own planet or go back to their original planet, or whatever. They were going to "create a libertarian society" on a floating platform in the Caribbean somewhere. I know there's never going to be a country on a floating anything, but if they want to talk about it, that's great.
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It is a good idea to ""shop around"" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.
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Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history, dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and whomped the club into the sl
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Miami does not have a visitor-friendly airport. At Miami International, a cramped and dingy labyrinth, the message is: Just Try to Find Our Baggage Claim Area!
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'You kids are just going to miss out on all the AAIIIEEE.'' This is the noise you make when you pick up a splinter the size of a harpoon.
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While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.
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My son does not appreciate classical musicians such as the Stones; he is more into bands with names like "Heave" and "Squatting Turnips.
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We know three or four songs, ... But we play about 50.
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Today, of course, it is considered very poor taste to use the F-word except in major motion pictures.
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We became pretty sensitive about it. We visited Great Ormond Street Hospital when we were in England to do research and we saw the tremendous need for funds.
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UNIVAC: a device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet and weighed 40 tons; there was also a laptop version weighing 27 tons.
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If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON'T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER.