Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard
Edward John "Eddie" Izzardis an English stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. His comedic style takes the form of rambling, whimsical monologue, and self-referential pantomime. He had a starring role in the television series The Riches as Wayne Malloy and has appeared in films such as Ocean's Twelve, Ocean's Thirteen, Mystery Men, Shadow of the Vampire, The Cat's Meow, Across the Universe, and Valkyrie. He has also worked as a voice actor in The Wild, Igor, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince...
NationalityBritish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1962
archeology banjo dancing elephants everywhere excited fiddler found king mad olden playing pointing proves queen series small soldiers walls
And they always find in archeology a series of small walls. Every time, a series of small walls. Everywhere you go. Weve found a series of small walls, were very excited I think this proves they had walls in olden days. They were very small, and a series of small wall people. And then someone comes along, very learned, with glasses, Of course, the king and queen entertained here 1,500 courtiers, and there were soldiers, 20,000 soldiers in this room, and elephants dancing hopscotch over there A mad fiddler in this room, playing the banjo, buttocks and aqueducts into a heater And youre just watching, and going, Youre making this up, mate! Youre just pointing at a series of small walls, going, there, there Tutankhamen playing banjo in there Dont know if its true.
bit eyes head looks nine
Picasso, he should have been a taxidermist!Ive done your dog. Its got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?Fido looks a bit weird.
bloody talking weird
PiAno,piAno'It's not a bloody piano, its a clarenARt...you weird talking person.
early hundred thousand
You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!
comedy great weapon
Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.
according gospel
What have you been reading, the gospel according to St. Bastard?
backing bloody claim countries cunning flag gun india lent million national rifle rules sail stick
We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Yeah, just sail around the world and stick a flag in. - I claim India for Britain!They go, - You can't claim us, we live here! 500 million of us!- Do you have a flag?- We don't need a bloody flag! It's our country, you bastards!- No flag, no country, you can't have one! That's the rules that I've just made up, and I'm backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association.
hate moving years
It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.
mean thinking bees
Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
want dies
I want to live till I die. No more, no less.
europe turkeys ottomans
So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
school giving looks
How to survive boarding school. Do not express emotion, do not feel emotion, do not have emotion. If someone hits you, hit them back, if someone argues with you, argue back, never give in an inch, never look vulnerable and you will survive.
action transvestites
I'm an Action Transvestite
dream bridges cities
San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here.