Elayne Boosler
Elayne Boosler
Elayne Boosleris an American comedian and advocate for animal rescue...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth18 August 1952
CountryUnited States of America
rip grandma heart
I think when you take off that jacket and they see that ‘I LOVE GRANDMA’ T-shirt, they’re going to rip your heart out.
dog steps tails
You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies.
weekend people parent
I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
intelligent news pages
I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
comedian casinos bombs
There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
religious my-family non-religious
My family was totally non-religious. There was no question we were Jewish, but we were not observant.
giving-money television hiv
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
sleep years fake
I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
keys order safety
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'
dog pigs congress
Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.
ideas america weight
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
couple two speech
Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full.
cities comedian east
It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.
vegas stardust sand
Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust - all were imploded.