Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck
Erma Louise Bombeckwas an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers. From 1965 to 1996, Erma Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns, using broad and sometimes eloquent humor, chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife. By the 1970s, her columns were read twice-weekly by 30 million readers of the 900 newspapers in the U.S...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth21 February 1927
CityBellbrook, OH
CountryUnited States of America
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'.
If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
I have finally mastered what to do with the second tennis ball. Having small hands, I was becoming terribly self-conscious about keeping it in a can in the car while I served the first one. I noted some women tucked the second ball just inside the elastic leg of their tennis panties. I tried, but found the space already occupied by a leg. Now, I simply drop the second ball down my cleavage, giving me a chest that often stuns my opponent throughout an entire set.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.