Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck
Erma Louise Bombeckwas an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers. From 1965 to 1996, Erma Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns, using broad and sometimes eloquent humor, chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife. By the 1970s, her columns were read twice-weekly by 30 million readers of the 900 newspapers in the U.S...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth21 February 1927
CityBellbrook, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was just the first prenatal visit.
For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out how we can reverse the process.
Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty "just adding water." Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.
Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.