Gilbert Gottfried
Gilbert Gottfried
Gilbert Gottfriedis an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor and comedian. His numerous roles in film and television include voicing the parrot Iago in Disney's Aladdin, Digit in the children's cartoon/educational math-based show Cyberchase and Kraang Subprime in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Gottfried was also the voice of the Aflac Duck until 2011...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth28 February 1955
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'
I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.
I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.
I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is the Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, the pyramids are right there. In the movies, every hotel has a monument right outside your window. My hotel rooms overlook the garbage dumpster in the back alley.
If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it.
I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.
I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?
Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como.
A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I don't have cancer.
I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.
Nothing can help my comedy.
Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.
I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.