Jasper Carrott
Jasper Carrott
Jasper Carrott, OBEis an English comedian, actor, television presenter, and personality...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth14 March 1945
attack died driving ingrained provided
My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then.
abundance articles based columnist humour national newspapers
I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis.
few known rounds stevie time wonder
I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer.
best controlled food ongoing
The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.
celebrity famous golf played time
I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.
business fifth sixth
I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.
failure felt people
I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.
certain incentive number penalty points rumour terrifying threatened
There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal.
billy broke comedians hit max thousands
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.
genius sensible i-can
I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.
music media radio
I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.
funny dog thinking
I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I've discovered that many people have the same problem. They have a femme fatale limb.
simple satisfaction-in-life feet
I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.
eye class working-class
I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.