Jenny Lawson
Jenny Lawson
Jennifer Lawsonis an American journalist, author and blogger...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
CountryUnited States of America
hug affection finished
A hug is like a strangle you haven't finished yet.
doors years two
Then I yelled through his door, "It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS.
sleep people want
Some people we define as trolls are just critics. Sometimes they have a point. And I hear them. But for the ones who comment "I want to kill you in your sleep," I respond to them too.
oxen two foxes
One ox, two oxen. One fox, two foxen.
scare insane stuff
If you could hear the insane stuff going on in my head, it would scare the hell out of you. Probably. Or fascinate you. Depends on how easily you're startled, I guess.
wizards sometimes curtains
I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in that I am both "Great and Terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains
cramps
...and whenever I had menstral cramps, I could just pretend that Voldemort was close.
humble interesting hysterical
It's interesting with my blog, because it feels to me less like a blog and more like a forum, because my readers are so funny and leave hysterical comments. And I'm not being humble when I say that very often, the comments are so much better than the post originally was.
doors phones police
I picked up the phone to call the police, but then I considered how it would sound when I told them that I was calling from inside my bathroom, where I’d OD’ed on laxatives, and that a possible rapist was quietly passing me notes under the bathroom door.
facts internet realizing
I very much own the fact that I'm a misfit. The Internet makes everyone realize they're screwed up.
xanax normal energy
In short? It is exhausting being me. Pretending to be normal is draining and requires amazing amounts of energy and Xanax.