Joe E. Lewis
Joe E. Lewis
Joe E. Lewis, born Joseph Klewan in New York City, was an American comedian and singer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
CountryUnited States of America
drink amount
I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.
tired doctors dieting
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
glasses tables needs
They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
funny drinking beer
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
life you-only-live-once living-once
You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
drinking beer loss
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
golf play lows
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
horse water ifs
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!
drinking dirty scotch-whisky
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
money nerves politics
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
money poverty one-thing
There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
drunk people alcohol
It pays to get drunk with the best people.
beer swim drink
If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.
mistake
We can afford almost any mistake once.