Joe E. Lewis
Joe E. Lewis
Joe E. Lewis, born Joseph Klewan in New York City, was an American comedian and singer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
CountryUnited States of America
tired doctors dieting
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
glasses tables needs
They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
golf play lows
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
horse water ifs
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!
money nerves politics
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
money poverty one-thing
There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
mistake
We can afford almost any mistake once.
money rich-or-poor long
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
gambling track way
I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.
yankees funny-baseball steel
Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.
friendship pests needs
Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
money believe boys
Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.
bombs noise i-can
I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.
work
You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.