Joe E. Lewis
Joe E. Lewis
Joe E. Lewis, born Joseph Klewan in New York City, was an American comedian and singer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
CountryUnited States of America
tired doctors dieting
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
glasses tables needs
They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
funny drinking beer
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
life you-only-live-once living-once
You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
golf play lows
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
horse water ifs
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!
money nerves politics
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
money poverty one-thing
There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.
drunk people alcohol
It pays to get drunk with the best people.
mistake
We can afford almost any mistake once.
money rich-or-poor long
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
drinking doctors great-alcohol
I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.
drinking ice alcohol
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
gambling track way
I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.