Julie Klausner
Julie Klausner
Julie Klausneris a New York City-based author, comedian, podcaster, and comedy writer-performer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionAuthor
Date of Birth3 July 1978
CountryUnited States of America
bill central friend funny love stuff
I really love 'Real Housewives.' It's like the, you know, comedy stuff that's, like, intentionally funny. Like, I love 'Nathan for You,' that Comedy Central show. It's just brilliant. My friend Bill Eichner has a show called 'Billy on the Street' that I write for, and even if I didn't write for it, I'd still love it.
asked dating guy nerve online
Oh, yeah, I did the online dating thing. I did Nerve, I did Match. On Nerve there was this one guy who, when I asked him what he did for a living, said he 'used to be in a band.' I was like, 'That is not an occupation.'
absolutely job
I wish podcasting was my only job - I have more fun doing that than I have doing absolutely anything else. But my job is that I'm a writer.
admirable animals behind conversion crap devotion food good hard ignore including intentions justified nature skepticism view
There are good intentions behind many people's conversion to veganism, including an admirable devotion to the well-being of animals and a justified skepticism about the crap the USDA allows manufacturers to put in our food. But it's hard to ignore the often sanctimonious nature of what some nutritionists view as an 'extremist' way of eating.
ads entitled listen science women work worth
Why can't science work on making women more entitled in general? Or at least get us to listen to those L'Oreal ads that tell us how we're worth it?
song writing sleep
My advice to women who habitually gravitate toward musicians is that they learn how to play an instrument and start making music themselves. Not only will they see that it's not that hard, but sometimes I think women just want to be the very thing they think they want to sleep with. Because if you're bright enough--no offense, Tawny Kitaen--sleeping with a musician probably won't be enough for you to feel good about yourself. Even if he writes you a song for your birthday. Don't you know that a musician who writes a song for you is like a baker you're dating making you a cake? Aim higher.
way internet microcosm
Podcasts themselves cannot exist without the Internet - in a way, they are a microcosm of the Internet.
cabaret format
Cabaret is a great format. All you have to do is sing and be funny sporadically.
feelings spiders my-own
I’m really afraid of spiders and my own feelings.
suits okay riot
The only riot I’m okay with is a zoot suit riot.
smell guy way
Any woman I know can smell a boyfriend a mile away. Women are intuitive, they know when a guy is interested but he's not going to be there for her in that boyfriend-y way,
wings dumb consciousness
Having one of your like dumb sort of stream of consciousness tweets used against you on a right wing website is the ultimate compliment.
agency giving sushi
Women who work for escort agencies that assign them out to prostitution dates at sushi restaurants know how to eat with chopsticks, and beyond that they are in every other way identical to other prostitutes. They’re not better looking; they’re not smarter; they’re not classier; they’re not more charming. They probably give more blowjobs than any reasonable woman, right? And they are empty inside, but it’s also society’s fault.
mirrors feels magnifying
I just feel like I understand Cameron Diaz better than I ever have before, and I don’t like it. I don’t like to see everything I see. It’s like a magnifying mirror only soulful, and I’m not looking at her, I’m looking at us, you know? And our pores are huge.