Laura Kightlinger
Laura Kightlinger
Laura Kightlinger is an American actress, comedian and writer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionScreenwriter
Date of Birth13 June 1969
CountryUnited States of America
american-comedian detest goal indecent message movies proposal rich send sleeping small ultimate woman women
I really detest movies like Indecent Proposal and Pretty Woman because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.
bad marriage
I guess I just feel bad that I'm still going on bad dates when I should really be in a bad marriage by now.
ceiling fists love parking punching
I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.
sex numbers guy
I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody's face while we're having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?
drinking night thinking
I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.
sarcastic new-year valentine
It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'
everything-happens-for-a-reason insightful lame
The thing that amazes me about getting fired is that nobody ever has anything insightful to say about it. They always say the same thing. They always say, 'Everything happens for a reason.' As lame as that sounds, I guess it’s better to hear it out loud. Because when you hear it in your own head, it sounds like, 'Anything can happen with a razor.
queens want dresses
I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.
holiday sadness grandmother
My grandmother, she passed away at Christmas time. So now, I have this built in sadness, you know, every holiday. 'Cause I'm plagued with the thought of, you know, what she would have given me. What didn't I get to open this year?
lost-love space ceilings
I love eating in it, brushing my teeth and swallowing the toothpaste in it. I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.
funny-relationship bad-marriage should
I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.
razors anything-can-happen happens
Anything can happen with a razor.
sleep men goal
I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.
mistake feel-good trying
We've all made mistakes that are similar in just trying to get by or make some money or feel good about ourselves.