Laura Wasser
Laura Wasser
Laura Allison Wasseris an American attorney specializing in divorce. Her clients have included Ryan Reynolds, Heidi Klum, Ashton Kutcher, Christina Aguilera, Marta Kauffman, and Johnny Depp. as well as many pro bono clients from the Harriet Buhai Center for Family Law...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionLawyer
CountryUnited States of America
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There's something about sitting face-to-face with an attorney in an office that enables people to come to grips with the very idea of divorce - or to reconsider the idea. Like a number of my colleagues - not all - I offer that preliminary consultation for free.
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Like the marriage contract you entered into, your divorce is a legal transaction. Treat it that way. Try not to let emotion, hurt, fear or anger dictate the circumstances of your discussions or negotiations.
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One client's wife managed to steam the labels off all of the several hundred bottles in her husband's prestigious wine collection, so the collection was worthless. The husband hosted 'What's that wine?' dinner parties.
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I'm known for having crazy shoes. I have a total Napoleon complex - I'm only 5'4", and every heel I have is four inches or more.
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Just about every therapist or counselor or social worker is practiced in dealing with people going through failing relationships, ending them, and confronting issues of custody and support.
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I don't know that human beings were meant to mate for life or be monogamous. But, for me, the aspect of marriage that is troubling is that it's a contract that is governed by the state, and I don't want the state to have control over my personal affairs.
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Conversations about money certainly are not sexy, but they should give each of you some clarity and enable you to enter into your marriage with a better understanding of each other and what is important. Work and home responsibilities, joint or separate accounts, budgets, etc. are all subjects which should be discussed.
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To find a pool of lawyers from whom to choose, solicit referrals from other professionals you know or deal with - an accountant, banker or business leader. Check out Bar Association listings as well, and don't neglect Internet research.
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You don't want to move in with someone and find out that they don't have auto or health insurance. That's a rude awakening.
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Do I believe in coupling? Do I believe in commitment? Do I believe in co-parenting, raising children together, having a family, and growing old with someone? I absolutely believe in all of those things. I just don't believe that you need to be married to do that. I love going to weddings, though. I do love a good wedding.
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Dissolution and custody matters are the great equalizers. Having done this for a while, you do realize that everybody has the same issues. It doesn't matter how much money you have or how much power you have, you are always afraid you're never going to see your child.
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If some people try to make a prenup into a pre-negotiation of a divorce... Well, that's really sad. But I do think that it's important to understand what each person has coming into the relationship, and what each person expects from the relationship. They aren't always fun discussions to have, and they can be very eye-opening.
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As a society, we've evolved, and we've recognized that the American family structure has undergone enormous changes. Divorce is all around us, and who among us doesn't know someone who is divorced or has been impacted by divorce. It's not as scandalous as it was.
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Just as you go to the gym regularly to keep your body fit, regular couples counseling can keep your relationship fit as well.