Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
sexy funny-sex found-objects
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
christmas mother running
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
sleep doctors wife
I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.
love-is giving needs
I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.
names linked knows
I know my name will always be linked with women.
personal-things
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
salt dictionary lad
My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.
slumps bother
Slumps don't bother me.
teacher school nerves
I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.
wife ugly horror
Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
rising way lasts
The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.
shields red faces
I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.
funny-things tunnels wife
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
couple finish marriage
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.