Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
slumps bother
Slumps don't bother me.
growing-up wind eggs
A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.
teacher school nerves
I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.
wife ugly horror
Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
family tree weeping-willows
Everyone has a family tree; the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.
rising way lasts
The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.
funny mother humorous
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
shields red faces
I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.
marriage couple sex-maniac
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.
witty doctors wind
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.
funny-things tunnels wife
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
sex ambition practicals
He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
funny travel prayer
I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.
couple finish marriage
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.