Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
zero numbers tribes
There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?
slumps bother
Slumps don't bother me.
funny-things tunnels wife
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
personal-things
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
wife thank-god hissing
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
names linked knows
I know my name will always be linked with women.
powerful feminist facts
Despite the fact that feminists say they're not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.
growing-up wind eggs
A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.
shields red faces
I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.
funny mother humorous
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
sex ambition practicals
He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
love-is giving needs
I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.
mother law funeral
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
marriage couple sex-maniac
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.