Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
communication opportunity missing
Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
grieving knowing childhood
The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there's no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again.
favors flattery compliment
Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable.
land feet america
All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
ignorance self perception
Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
brother blue eight
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
perception republican mass
No one has ever seen a Republican mass meeting that was devoid of the perception of the ludicrous.
humorous modern inconvenience
... all the modern inconveniences ...
liars humorous ambitious
... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
police trade plenty
A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.
brave danger form
How superbly brave is the Englishman in the presence of the awfulest forms of danger and death; and how abject in the presence of any and all forms of hereditary rank.
love appreciated pleasure
One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.
funny uncles men
A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
funny fine taxes
A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.