Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
one-direction reform overboard
Every time I reform in one direction I go overboard in another.
taken wish sin
Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it.
world digging banquets
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
issues sides satan
All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.
vote commodity license
Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.
growing littles matter
It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
dog mind fleas
It's a good thing for a dog to have fleas; keeps his mind off being a dog.
selfish mean soul
Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes; then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
ideas succeed inventor
Every inventor is a crackpot until his idea succeeds.
pain animal men
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
winning knowing rewards
God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
departed matter would-be
If they [the dead] should speak, it would be found that in matters of opinion no departed person was exactly what he had passed for in life. They would realise, deep down, that they, and whole nations along with them, are not really what they seem to be-and never can be.
differences focus genius
It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates; they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions; they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
railroads benefits half
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.