Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.