Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about "New Car Interior"?
Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.
I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.
Eye contact is a method utilised by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Many women find it difficult to look a man directly in the eyes, not because of shyness, but because a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Barbie ruined my life! It's a really bad image for women. For a long time I thought I was deformed - because my heels didn't touch the ground. I was walking around on tiptoes. What's up with that? I think that it's a bad thing for a woman to try to emulate.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.