Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfieldwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and writer, known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme. He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School...
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth22 November 1921
CityDeer Park, NY
figures whole-life downers
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
tonight pops our-family
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
happy fathers-day dad
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
drinking viagra juice
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
jealousy wife calendars
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
complaining no-respect i-can
I can't get no respect.
beauty beautiful eye
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
cheating thinking wife
I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is, quick out the window.
faces ugly sundials
She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
headache
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
kings two bed-sheets
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
bisexual years homosexuality
I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.
drinking zombie bartending
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'