Whitney Brown
Whitney Brown
Alan Whitney Brownis an American writer and comedian best known for work on Saturday Night Live in the 1980s. In addition to writing for the program, he appeared opposite Dennis Miller in a biting satirical Weekend Update commentary segment called "The Big Picture." He won a 1988 Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in a Variety or Music Program, along with Al Franken, Tom Davis, Phil Hartman, Mike Myers, Lorne Michaels and Conan O'Brien. He was also one of the original...
drinking men blood
Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a wooden apparatus by a series of gruesome body piercings, and engage in their bizarre practices of ritualized blood-drinking and cannibalism without being assaulted by graphic images of attractive young women with bare breasts.
wisdom lying jail
The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good lie will keep you out of jail in the first place.
believe atheism way
I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.
facts pekingese jaguars
The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through.
funny school humor
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
book oxygen two
Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.
writing past history
The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.
funny sarcastic hate
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
anger frustration confusion
I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.
america birthplace harry tourist truman
Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.
believe
I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.
history wrote
The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.
america credit prisoners remember uncovered until water witches
Waterboarding -- that's what America does to its prisoners now. Dunking them in water until they confess. Of course, you have to remember -- we uncovered a lot of witches that way. So, credit where credit is due.