Will Brown
Will Brown
dad passed
When dad told me Mr Steptoe had passed away, I broke down.
hard last reveal sole succumbed zombie
It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and outstretched arms, to have succumbed to the lure.
crash crashes lots orderly people time
People think of waves as going in an orderly crash - whoosh - crash - whoosh, but in fact there are lots of different crashes and whooshes, all at different stages, and all going off at the same time.
decent fugitive item number
A decent beard has long been the number one must-have fashion item for any fugitive from justice.
art life monument possibly putting until
My life is a monument to procrastination, to the art of putting things off until later, or much later, or possibly never.
infinitely irritation lacking subtle
Monopoly may also end in tears, but its tensions are cruder, lacking the infinitely subtle shadings of irritation and acrimony provided by Scrabble.
rule smaller
As a rough rule of thumb, I would say the smaller the pond, the more belligerent the fish.
board gain high letters player scrabble shut slam upset
Everyone must know by now that the aim of Scrabble is to gain the moral high ground, the loser being the first player to slam the board shut and upset all the letters over the floor.
designed dictates goes large life objects providence tiny
As life goes on, we accrue more and more loseable objects. Providence dictates that objects that are too large to lose, such as houses, always come with tiny little keys, specially designed to give you the slip.
life matter mean telling turn turtle
Words have a life of their own. There is no telling what they will do. Within a matter of days, they can even turn turtle and mean the opposite.
expect onions school sticks strings wear
When I was young, I used to expect Parisians to wear little black berets, to bicycle about with strings of onions around their necks, and to brandish long sticks of bread, just like they used to do in school textbooks.
time
There's nothing wrong with procrastination. Or is there? I'll leave it to you to decide, but only if you have the time.
arm breakfast childhood free happiest looking moments spent
Looking back, some of the happiest moments of my childhood were spent with my arm in packets of breakfast cereal, rootling around for a free gift.
blazer bowls people played school wore
In its heyday, the blazer had come to symbolise a kind of conventional decency. Yacht club commodores and school bursars wore blazers. People who played bowls wore blazers.