Famous Quotes & Sayings

Anthony Jeselnik

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Ann Brashares

There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.

Ann Brashares

When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

Andy Borowitz

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

Andy Borowitz

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.

Andy Borowitz

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

Andy Borowitz

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Andy Borowitz

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Dick Cavett

Great humorists are great insulters.

Aldous Huxley

Slowly, very slowly, like two unhurried compass needles, the feet turned towards the right; north, north-east, east, south-east, south, south-south-west; then paused, and after a few seconds, turned as unhurriedly back towards the left. South-south-west, south, south-east, east...

E. O. Wilson

The two major challenges for the 21st century are to improve the economic situation of the majority and save as much of the planet as we can.

Thomas Jefferson

Never use two words when one will do.

Saadi

Take care how you listen to the voice of the flatterer, who, in return for his little stock, expects to derive from you considerable advantage. If one day you do not comply with his wishes, be imputes to you two hundred defects instead of perfections.

Stephen King

...stupidity is one of the two things we see most clearly in retrospect. The other is missed chances.

Stephen King

In many ways, Eulah-Beulah prepared me for literary criticism. After having a two-hundred-pound babysitter fart on your face and yell Pow!, The Village Voice holds few terrors.

Stephen King

Only two things happen to writers when they die: Either their work survives, or it becomes forgotten.

Star Jones

One day I actually took the list into the bathroom and I put it up against my face and looked in the mirror and I realized I had one of two choices, change the list or change myself.

Stanley Tucci

The most I've ever done was twenty-something, but that's wasn't because I wanted to. I feel like to me it's usually somewhere between two and- no, it's very hard to say because it really depends up on the shot, you know? If it's a complicated master shot and you know that this is the only thing that you're doing for that scene, a complicated one-er, you're going to maybe end up doing a few more takes than you normally would. But I'm not a big believer in doing tons and tons and tons of takes.