Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mark Doren

Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Yanni

Being an athlete helps me get those grandiose emotions of pleasure and pain that are involved in sports.

Don Yaeger

Seeing the intensity and power she brings to the game, it's hard to imagine her being anything but single-minded in pursuing tennis. But Serena Williams has other passions, too. In fact, there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day, week or month for one of the world's most gifted athletes to chase her many interests.

Cathy Rigby

An athlete learns how to hold her breath, but that doesn't work in singing. You have to learn to relax.

Cathy Rigby

It's that athlete's obsessiveness - the need to prove yourself and work harder than anybody else. I think it's what helped me do well in the theater.

Bill Vaughan

You can be an ordinary athlete by getting away with less than your best. But if you want to be a great, you have to give it all you've got-your everything.

Bill Bowerman

The athlete makes himself, the coach doesn't make the athlete.

Bill Bradley

When the playing is over, one can sense that one's youth has been spent playing a game, and now both the game and youth are gone.

Bill Bradley

Behind all the years of practice and all the hours of glory waits that inexorable terror of living without the game.

John Yarmuth

The American people don't believe politicians. They don't believe business leaders or Hollywood celebrities or athletes or other supposed role models. And they certainly don't believe the news media.

Cecelia Ahern

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' 'And yet it is still extremely funny.

Eddie Izzard

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

Eddie Izzard

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

Antonin Artaud

Without sarcasm I sink into chaos.

Jane Austen

You have delighted us long enough.

Benjamin Franklin

Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.

Ashleigh Brilliant

The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!

Ashleigh Brilliant

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.