Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mark Doren

Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Artie Lange

You know you have a gambling problem when it's 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book and you're walking around going, 'Hey you get the lacrosse scores?'

Euripides

The lucky person passes for a genius.

Randy Carter

He kept gambling even though he didn't need to. But he got that one.

Craig Benson

I do not support gambling in this state.

Charles Caleb Colton

Gaming has been resorted to by the affluent as a refuge from ennui. It is a mental dram, and may succeed for a moment; but, like all other stimuli, it produces indirect debility.

Charles Lamb

A clear fire, a clean hearth, and the rigour of the game.

Charles Lamb

Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.

Charles Baudelaire

I have to confess that I had gambled on my soul and lost it with heroic insouciance and lightness of touch. The soul is so impalpable, so often useless, and sometimes such a nuisance, that I felt no more emotion on losing it than if, on a stroll, I had mislaid my visiting card.

Dick Davies

The people who want to push for the end of legalized sports gambling in Nevada would be encouraging the crooks. And they would be counterproductive to what they want to accomplish.

Imelda May

I know exactly what it's like to not have a penny. I know exactly what it's like trying to get a job. I know exactly what it's like having bloody one tin of Ambrosia left in the cupboard. But I know I can survive.

Colm Keaveney

If you want respect, you earn it in politics. You don't get it because you are some form of bloody emperor in a toga.

E. B. White

The police have the power to search people's homes, to make arrests, to take blood samples and so forth as long as they have 'probable cause' to suspect that a crime has been committed. That is a fairly low standard.

Joe Cole

The pigs weren't mummified and they were in these jars with blood and maggots crawling out of the ears and maggots crawling all over. We just did not think that was appropriate.

Paul Eenhoorn

From an actor's point of view, if you are watching something, and you see improv, you know it. Because of your experience, you just bloody know that wasn't written.

Patrick Chappatte

Today, fear of bloodshed is forcing us into recognizing new taboos: those of Muslims.

Tom McMahon

I'm sitting here in front of my computer screen trying to figure the bloody thing out.

William Shakespeare

There is no sure foundation set on blood, No certain life achieved by others' death.

William Shakespeare

And do so, love, yet when they have devised What strainèd touches rhetoric can lend, Thou, truly fair, wert truly sympathized In true plain words by thy true-telling friend; And their gross painting might be better used Where cheeks need blood; in thee it is abused.