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funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny humor two
There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't. Ann Brashares
funny hilarious humor
When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes Ann Brashares
funny travel thinking
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. Andy Borowitz
funny technology hours
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted. Andy Borowitz
funny technology men
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death. Andy Borowitz
funny travel worry
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting. Andy Borowitz
funny technology giving
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence. Andy Borowitz
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
motivational mistake sitting
The individual who is mistake-free is also probably sitting around doing nothing. And that is a very big mistake. John Wooden
motivational spiritual appreciation
When practiced to its fullest, mindful eating turns a simple meal into a spiritual experience, giving us a deep appreciation of all that went into the meal's creation as well a deep understanding of the relationship between the food on our table, our own health, and our planet's health. Nhat Hanh
motivational running baseball
You start chasing a ball and your brain immediately commands your body to 'Run forward, bend, scoop up the ball, peg it to the infield,' then your body says, 'Who me?' Joe DiMaggio
motivational prayer thinking
Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine. Kathleen Norris
motivational dance song
Dance is a song of the body. Either of joy or pain. Martha Graham
motivational facts opinion
Impossible is not a fact, it's an opinion. Muhammad Ali
motivational
True or true? Yes or yes? Mark Victor Hansen
motivational confidence running
Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful. Mark Victor Hansen
motivational dream reality
Sometimes you gotta be an s.o.b., you wanna make a dream reality Mark Knopfler
family nightmare
the proceedings have been a nightmare for my family Michael Jackson
family mothers-day mom
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. Ambrose Bierce
family writing thinking
I can't think of anything to write about except families. They are a metaphor for every other part of society. Anna Quindlen
family mother brother
My mother imparted her daily truths so she could help my older brothers and me rise above our circumstances. We lived in San Francisco's Chinatown. Like most of the other Chinese children who played in the back alleys of restaurants and curio shops, I didn't think we were poor. My bowl was always full, three five-course meals every day, beginning with a soup full of mysterious things I didn't want to know the names of. Amy Tan
family house wanted
I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house. Anthony Anderson
family beautiful imperfection
I know why families were created with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed. Anais Nin
family children want
I grew up in a pretty large family. We were really close-knit, so I definitely want to have lots and lots of children. Anne Hathaway
family money side tend
My family wasn't rich, so when it comes to money, I tend to think, 'Err on the side of caution.' Robert Kiyosaki
family goes increases injured known left member mission position problem risk security time unless wounded
The problem is, the security mission goes on here and if we take some out, those that are left are at some risk ? it increases their risk, ... Unfortunately, we're not able at this time ? unless someone is known to have a family member wounded or injured or killed ? we're not in a position to make those adjustments. John Vines