Related Quotes
funny money humorous
We spent as much money as we could and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one. Charles Dickens
funny humorous men
Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.
funny children flower
It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
hilarious loneliness being-alone
I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone. Audrey Hepburn
hilarious fun giving
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. Bill Watterson
hilarious pipes ran
wouldn't it be hilarious if he ran his pipes through (fill in the blank)? Preston Sturges
hilarious husband giving
I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband. Denise Richards
hilarious people favors
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Benny Hill
hilarious struggle cupcakes
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. Bob Thaves
hilarious military flower
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon Dave Barry
hilarious two cards
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. Daniel Handler
hilarious men two
Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
witty profound sublime
Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound. Charles Caleb Colton
witty expression order
Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects. Charles Simmons
witty men noses
A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am. Edmond Rostand
witty humorous idiot
What do you take me for, an idiot? Charles de Gaulle
witty people peanuts
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. Charles M. Schulz
witty men good-man
You're a good man, Charlie Brown.
witty funny-life lying
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
witty fitness-motivational exercise
Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.
witty torah dare
I wouldn't even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah. Charles Grodin