Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Kathryn Prescott

I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Craig Ferguson

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

Craig Ferguson

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

Craig Ferguson

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Chuck Norris

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.

Thomas Reed

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Suzanne Collins

No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.

George Mikes

If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.

Jeff Gordon

I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Wayne Dyer

I am realistic – I expect miracles.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

W. C. Fields

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)