Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Psy

That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny.

PewDiePie

I make funny videos of me playing video games, and I share those moments.

Maisie Williams

I haven't done Vine in a long time, and when I first started, I just did stuff that I thought was funny.

Ryan Lochte

There's people out there that are like, 'Oh my God, I want to have your kid. I want to marry you.' People that I've never even met. That's sweet. It's funny.

Daniel Woodrell

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

And ah for a man to arise in me, That the man I am may cease to be!

Chuck Norris

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.

Thomas Reed

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Suzanne Collins

No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.

George Mikes

If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.

Jeff Gordon

I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

Ludwig Wittgenstein

Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world.

Baruch Spinoza

Nature has no goal in view, and final causes are only human imaginings.

Ayelet Waldman

I wish I could view the belly that oozes over the top of my pants as a badge of maternal honor. I do try. I make sure that the women whose looks I admire all have sufficient fat reserves to survive a famine, and I make a lot of snide comments about the skeletal likes of Lara Flynn Boyle and Paris Hilton.

Carter Burwell

Any film which views the darker side of life, which is death with a sense of humor, is very much to my taste.

Adam Carolla

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

Jeff Raikes

In business, there's a constant focus on developing strategies, reviewing executive performance against those strategies each year, engaging with opposing or different points of view, and having intellectual dialogue.

Jay Roach

I'm pretty opinionated sometimes although my political views change all the time, too. So I'm not very zealous.

Jeff Sessions

Kissinger-type foreign policy is clearly, in my view, the proper tilt for us in the future, and he [Donald Trump] gets it. And some of our members, I guess, have been so deeply committed to the [George W.]Bush agenda, the neo-conservative agenda, that it's harder for them to acknowledge that. But I acknowledge it.

Jeff Sessions

I had not been involved in any way in planning the event in Mobile. My staff maybe, had really been contacted, but I had never talked to Donald Trump about him coming to Mobile, and I decided - I had something else to do but it became so clear that it was going to be such a big event that I should be there. And he had already adopted my immigration views, in large part, and he was saying things I thought were valuable, about immigration.

Jeff Sessions

I liked Donald's Trump speech on foreign policy. What he's showing is that his fundamental views are solid, and that there's an intellectual basis for this, an economic basis for what he's saying, and that can lead him to victory.