Famous Quotes & Sayings

Maisie Williams

Sometimes people think they know you and they go, 'Hey!' and then they realize that they've just seen you on the television. That's kind of funny sometimes.

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Barbara Kingsolver

He had senile dementia and liked to go outside naked, but he could still do two things perfectly: win at checkers and write out prescriptions.

Aziz Ansari

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

Benjamin Disraeli

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

Kenneth Branagh

It's funny to be in rooms where you were originally referred to as 'The Shakespeare Guy' and to suddenly be in the position where you're 'The Blockbuster Guy.' That's a pretty unusual turnabout, I must say.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Catherine O'Hara

I know. I'm lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have 'til December, right?

Carol Burnett

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Billy Corgan

It's about the girlfriend who left me last year. I tried to put all my anger in those words, even though I'm just as much to blame for the break-up. 'Soma' is based on the idea that a love relationship is almost the same as opium: it slowly puts you to sleep, it soothes you, and gives you the illusion of sureness and security. Very deceivable.

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.

Drew Carey

I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.'

Dave Attell

I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!

Robert Harris

To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend… I suppose I ought to have realize it’s ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.

Val Kilmer

My first girlfriend in high school, I had a girlfriend in grade school, but my first girlfriend in high school was Mare Winningham, very fine actress.

Rick Riordan

Which meant his only assets were one whiny imprisoned goddess, one sort-of-girlfriend with a dagger, and Leo, who apparently thought he could defeat the armies of darkness with breath mints.

Simon Cowell

I genuinely believed no one would want to marry me. I am difficult to live with. I'm selfish, quite weird and I need time on my own to think - and then I work all night long. That is difficult for someone to deal with. And it would drive me mad - I could never be my own girlfriend!

Tom Cullen

When I was 17, I had my first proper girlfriend, and on Valentine's Day, I painted a canvas of her, bought her a massage, put flowers on the stairs, and ran a bath.

Daniel Woodrell

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

Art Buchwald

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

Elaine Stritch

The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know?

Arthur Conan Doyle

We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.

Bob Costas

Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal.

Dennis Ritchie

The notion of a record is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card.

Edsger Dijkstra

PL/1, the fatal disease, belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

And ah for a man to arise in me, That the man I am may cease to be!

Chuck Norris

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.