Famous Quotes & Sayings

Anthony Jeselnik

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Andrea Dworkin

Men know everything - all of them - all the time - no matter how stupid or inexperienced or arrogant or ignorant they are.

Alphonse de Lamartine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Albert Einstein

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

Albert Einstein

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Alex Ferguson

Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out.

Molly Ivins

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Kim Harrison

Somehow I found him. Somehow I found Al's sarcastic thoughts, bitter and old. Tired, angry, bored. Alone.

Mark Twain

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Mark Twain

In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Mark Twain

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Mary Roberts Rinehart

Useless as a pulled tooth.

Nick Moran

My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the ancient martial art of sarcasm.

Mark Twain

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Natasha Leggero

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

Bill Hicks

How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the f-k? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?

Barack Obama

Every single thing I`ve done, from the Affordable Care Act to pushing to raise the minimum wage, to making sure that young people are able to go to college and get good job training, to what we`re pushing now in terms of sick paid leave,everything I do has been focused on how do we make sure the middle class is getting a fair deal.

Adam Savage

That aesthetic of the Star Wars universe: the do-it-yourself, hotrod ethic that George Lucas exported from his childhood, is exactly the same kind of soul behind what we do and build for the show. It may not look pretty, but it gets the job done.

Anna Wintour

Go get a job. Whether it’s working as a designer or working in a restaurant and then doing your own thing in your own time, it’s a reality of life. In the end it’s going to be helpful to you and so many others.

Angus T. Jones

Committing yourself to some kind of job that isn't committed to God is going to bring so much trouble into your life. It's not good and not something I would suggest that someone seek.

Anish Kapoor

I think I understand something about space. I think the job of a sculptor is spatial as much as it is to do with form

Ani Difranco

My feminism has evolved way beyond self-empowerment and I see feminism as a path to peace on earth. The fundamental imbalance that is behind all of the other social diseases is patriarchy. I do believe. As men and women, together, I really long to feel my society evolve its understanding since we're one of the leaders in the f-word. I want us to grow our idea of feminism collectively and get both men and women involved in undoing patriarchy. It's huge. It's a huge job.

Ani Difranco

Having more exposure is kind of a bittersweet thing for me, honestly, because it's nice to have a little more job security in life now.

Ani Difranco

I love to exercise my creativity in many ways but as each year of specialization goes by I feel further and further from my other creative selves. I used to be able to see myself doing many things and sometimes I still long for a job that involves less pressure and grappling with people but, as you say, I am one of the lucky ones so I try to just focus on feeling lucky and carry on!