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funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny humor two
There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't. Ann Brashares
funny hilarious humor
When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes Ann Brashares
funny travel thinking
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. Andy Borowitz
funny technology hours
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted. Andy Borowitz
funny technology men
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death. Andy Borowitz
funny travel worry
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting. Andy Borowitz
funny technology giving
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence. Andy Borowitz
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
crazy guy littles
If you`re a Republican politician and you`re seeing this guy [Donald Trump] saying crazy stuff and going up in the polls, what are you going to say, you`re going to say equally crazy or maybe a little less crazy stuff. Bernie Sanders
crazy thinking people
I'm the crazy one who thinks that words reach people. Anne Sexton
crazy artist views
But if you have a point of view and you're an artist or a writer, it's kind of crazy to not take advantage of that, especially if you can do something that's entertaining as well. I've done a number of things like that over the years. David Lloyd
crazy ideas sound
Every time I hear sounds, I see pictures. Then, I start getting ideas. It just drives me crazy David Lynch
crazy buying-things buying
I love buying things. I could be one of those crazy hoarders. Anna Chancellor
crazy order years
We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like. I have prepared one of my own. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder, and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like. Alfred Hitchcock
crazy sleep thinking
I think it's just fear of death. I can't bear to go to sleep. There's very little, you know, between an entrepreneur and a crazy person. Anita Roddick
crazy thinking littles
I think perhaps all of us go a little crazy at times. Robert Bloch
crazy people good-food
People will travel anywhere for good food – it’s crazy. Rene Redzepi